Monday, December 15, 2008

Sabres, Pucks, Stretches and Orgasms

The first time the Buffalo Sabres came to Mellon Arena this season, Deanne and I tried everything in our power to get cheap-ass seats. The problem was that the Pens were debuting their powder-blue third jerseys similar to the ones worn in the Winter Classic earlier this year. We didn't have any luck and I was heartbroken because Buffalo is my second favorite team.

THIS time around we were actually able to rush and it was great. Plus, Deanne bought me a Miller shirt for my birthday and I was pumped to wear it. Even though it hurt my heart to openly support the opposing goalie when Dany Sabourin is my favorite Penguin. Whenever the Pens play Buffalo, or any other team I love for that matter, I always want the game to end the same way: in OT, with the Pens pulling out the win. This way, both teams get a point. Shootouts are bad because I like a lot of opposing goalies. Like Miller, Biron, Theodore, Tim Thomas... NOT.

Anyway, as everyone knows, my two favorite Sabres are Ryan Miller and Paul Gaustad. And since I was already wearing a Miller shirt and had made a sign for him last season, I had a great and not cheesy at all idea for a sign. Gaustad's nickname on the team is Goose. So, I made a sign that said, 'PUCK PUCK GOOSE!' And in the left-hand corner I wrote '28' and in the right-hand corner I wrote 'Please?' Yeah, it was lame. But I didn't care, I was too pumped. Molly made a sign for Pominville and Connie made a sign for their head coach, Lindy Ruff. Deanne made one that said 'Buffaslug' and had an arrow pointing to me. Rude!

We ran down right behind the goal and sat there for warm-ups. I propped my sign right up against the glass and every time Gaustad came around, I banged on the glass like a mad person. Warm-ups last for 16 minutes, the first 11 of which were terrible. Gaustad was teasing me so badly. It seemed as though he was the only Sabre not to read my sign and it was making both Molly and I very aggravated.

Molly decided it was because he couldn't understand it. I didn't think he was dumb, so I thought it was okay. But she insisted on turning her sign around and writing on it. No pens. No sharpies. She whips out her mascara, but that failed. We borrowed this thin marker from a woman and Molly wrote, 'Gaustad, puck?' I leaned that one against the glass and our little mindgame continued. I pounded on the glass. I moved my sign around in a dance. I moved it up and made a pouty face below it. I displayed the Buffalo on my shirt proudly. I stuck my arms straight up in the air and pointed down at myself shamelessly. No go.

Gaustad even had the audacity to stand right in front of the net and shoot pucks into the top corner, right in front of me. He stood in the corner chilling and chatting with the guys, waiting in line to shoot. He did everything with a huge smile on his face. He glanced over at my sign from time to time. He was behaving terribly, I must say. He was ignoring my sign and it was frustrating. Therefore, Molly and I had begun to bring out loud oaths of 'bastage' and 'asshole' and 'jerk'. THEN he gets down on the ice and STRETCHES RIGHT THERE!! Right in the corner. I, of course, was watching with my mouth open as he got down on the ice and twisted from left to right and did this swivel thing with his hips...

And then he looked up at me from the ice and our eyes locked. He was looking to make sure I was watching, and I was. Hell yes, I was! He knew full well what he was doing to me, and he was loving it. I was caught. Like the proverbial deer in the headlights. He smiled before getting to his skates and there were about four minutes left. Then, it happened! And I saw it. His eyes flashed up to gauge where the glass ended and the netting began above my head and then he flipped a puck into the netting. It came down between me and the guy beside me and I immediately started scrambling for it and I was kind of shrieking, 'It's mine! It's mine! It's mine! It's mine! It's for me! Can I please have it?!' And the guy next to me was only bending down to hand it to me but I found it first and I sat up and it was cold and wet in my hands and I couldn't breathe.

I displayed it to everyone and held it up to the glass. Molly kept hitting me and making me stop. She said I should leave him alone now, but I was so pumped. She wanted me to show that I could be calm and cool, but I was flipping out and so happy! I kept banging on the glass and grinning like a fool and holding the puck up and mouthing, 'Thank you!' With a few minutes left, he tried to flip three or four more into the netting, but it didn't work. He skated away down to the runway and we went back to our seats.

The game was all right and the Pens ended up losing, 4-3. I tried to cheer for the Sabres, but it just felt so wrong, so I cheered for the Pens. Gaustad even registered an assist!! We stood up waiting for the players to come out after the game and Gaustad was taking so long. The bus driver had to move the bus out further from the garage so cars could get through. Whereas other players avoided us by walking around the other side of the bus where we couldn't see, Gaustad continued the teasing game by walking right below us, pretending to be texting. He walked the length of the bus and then in front of it. Again, I stared.

Molly wouldn't let me ask him to sign my puck, even though I wanted to so badly and they aren't coming back this season. She said that she didn't think it would work out and she didn't want me to get hurt. Such a sweetie! Gaustad got on the bus and the bus driver was nice enough to leave all the lights on inside so we could creep on the players. Gaustad sat next to Pominville on our side of the bus, and right behind Miller. Pominville kept looking out the window, along with the guy behind him and I unzipped my coat and held up my PUCK PUCK GOOSE sign. Pominville looked at it and Gaustad glanced over before smiling and saying something to Pominville. He's such a tease!!! But he's so wonderful at the same time. It's not fair, I tell you!

We got in the car and this is why I love Molly to death. Because the minute we left the garage, she started talking about how she was so happy that Gaustad did that for me and that he was such a nice guy. And then she embarrassed me by saying how no other hockey player would do that, even for the hottest girl in the world. But he did it for me. So I must be the hottest girl. To hear something like that just boosted my confidence and topped off an already-perfect evening.

Friday, December 12, 2008

Apologies

I was pressured into starting this blog by my friend, and until a month or two ago, it's been a nice way to vent about a certain someone and the way he treated me over the summer. Blogs are therapeutical they say. This one has proved to be so. I haven't thought about TJ for a few days now, especially not enough to want to write about him. I did text him and wish him a happy birthday back in November, but since then I've gotten two new phones and lost his number. Which is the best thing to have happened, I believe. He did add me on Myspace (whooo) and has been checking his page more recently since, I've discovered through creeping techniques of my own.

I've decided to move on and stop blogging about him. It's only going to get worse as I go along because all of the time we spent together is blurring together and my already-foggy memory has been battered and run through the gauntlet that we in college like to refer to as Finals. I've always been a fan of the old FINALS = Fuck, I Never Actually Learned this Shit.

However, I believe my life has been exciting lately and I will continue to post randoms about my life. Doesn't matter much anyway. Ashley's the only one that reads this and if she's still curious, I can fill her in over winter break.